Bridal shower?
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012 at
6:36 pm
I’ve often heard of a bridal/wedding shower from many people here on yahoo answers, but it’s a bit alien to me. I’m from the UK and it’s not something we do over here.
So, what exactly is a wedding shower? I understand the basic concept (a shower of gifts for the bride to be), but I’d like to know more about the occasion. What sort of things are given at the shower? Is it similar to a batchorette party? How do the gifts differ to what you give as a wedding present?
A little history on it would be nice too.
Filed under: Bridal Shower
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
It’s basically fleecing your female guests for more gifts. You generally give household stuff. It’s more like a kid’s birthday party. You sit down for lunch and then people watch you open presents for three hours.
Guess if I’m going to have one?
Shower is a party for the bride. Usually it’s just the women and they get together and eat, play some games, and chat. It’s a less raunchy version of the bachelorette so that grandma can attend. It’s meant to help the couple set up their new household. The gifts are usually cheaper items off the registry, whereas the wedding gift is more expensive or just cash.
I think in the UK you refer to the shower as a “Jack and Jill”. US wedding showers are pretty much the same except Jack stays home.
A bridal shower is usually a party given to the bride by family members (or wedding party). Close family members and friends, traditonally all women, are invited to celebrate. Not everyone invited to the wedding is invited to the shower. A bachorette party is more of the brides friends and are very similar to bacherlor parties. The gifts for a bridal shower tend to resolve around the home.
A bridal shower is one of those parties that are fun and practical at the same time. The obvious reason for a shower is to give things to the future married couple that will help them establish a home together. But the underlying reason for a bridal shower is that it’s a nice occasion for the close family and friends of the bride to spend relaxed time with her before the big wedding day. It’s a time for sharing funny stories, for relatives to give advice to the bride, and for friends to show their support. The bride is the princess of the day, so be sure that in your planning you don’t do anything that will make her feel uncomfortable.
A bridal shower is commonly hosted by the maid-of-honor and bridesmaids. Although it was once considered poor etiquette for family members of the bride to host the shower, it is now acceptable.
Here are some other considerations as you plan a shower:
* The event is usually held within two months of the wedding, up to two weeks before the big day.
* Don’t invite guests to the shower who have not been invited to the wedding.
* These days you’ll need to decide whether this will be a traditional ‘girls only’ event or a couples party, often referred to as a “Jack and Jill” shower.
* Any time of day is acceptable, but most often showers are afternoon events.
* Games that can serve as ice breakers for the party are a particularly good idea if a large number of the guests don’t already know one another.
* Encourage the bride to register for gifts. With so many couples living on their own before getting married, it’s difficult for guests to guess which things they still need.
* Remind the bride to include a reasonable number of inexpensive items on her registry for guests with limited budgets.
* Decide whether the party will be held at a home or in a restaurant or other locale. These days many shower planners now choose activities instead of the traditional finger food/gift opening shower. For example, many bridal parties take the bride out for a day at the spa instead of a shower. Or for an active Jack and Jill shower, the party could be a beach barbecue complete with volleyball, Frisbee, music and dancing.
* Unless you feel it’s mandatory to surprise the bride, involve her in the planning. Ask her if there’s a particular theme she’d like for her shower. Some popular themes include lingerie showers, kitchen item showers, around-the-clock showers (where everyone is assigned a time of day for which to select a gift) and travel gift showers.
* Don’t forget to give party favors to all guests. These can be traditional favors such as small boxes of candy. Or they can be something that relates to the theme of the shower, e.g. drawer sachets at a lingerie shower.
Basically, it’s a nice party for the bride, and the women in her life. It’s an excuse to eat, and socialize while giving the bride gifts. I generally gift a less expensive gift for a shower gift than I do for a wedding gift as well.
Here’s an article that tells more.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridal_shower
p.s. I didn’t realize until reading the article that it’s primarily a US/Canadian custom….that’s interesting! You learn something new every day!
The bridal shower is an event that is normally hosted by the maid of honor and the bridesmaid for the bride. It’s normally an event that only women attend. You play a few silly games, have some snacks and “shower” the bride with attention and gifts.
It is not similar to a bacholerette party.
At its most basic, it is a chance for the bride to get extra presents.
The rules for the bridal shower are very relaxed.
My fiance and his friend even joined in at mine. It turned into a wine and cheese party.
Basically the maid of honor or the mother of the bride gather the brides friends…pretty much any female can come but she should be a someone that is invited to the wedding. The host makes little snacks, maybe brings a bottle of wine or two. Everyone brings the bride a present…usually under $50 (since they also have to give a wedding gift) and the bride opens the presents in front of everyone. That’s it really.
I think it’s a cheap version of a golden shower. That’s what I told my scullery maid, anyway.
A bridal shower is a gift giving party given for a bride before her wedding. The custom originated in the United States, although the first stories about these events have been known to originate in Brussels, Belgium around 1860. It remains a primarily US and Canadian practice. Showers are usually coordinated by the bridesmaids, who invite guests to offer gifts for the home of the bride and groom.
The custom of the bridal shower is said to have grown out of earlier dowry practices when a poor woman’s family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice. A frequently quoted legend traces the origin of this practice to sixteenth or seventeenth century Holland. However there are also parallels with many dowry practices and the US Colonial or hope chest (trousseau) custom.
In the United States bridal showers started in urban areas in the 1890s, mainly among the upper middle classes. By the 1930s bridal showers had spread to rural America.
The earliest use of this sense of the word in print may be in the Grand Rapids Michigan Evening Press 22 June 4, 1904: “The ‘shower parties’ that through mistaken hospitality the wedded couple are forced to attend…” And may derive from the custom in Victorian times for the presents to be put inside a parasol, which when opened would “shower” the bride-to-be with gifts.
Bridal showers can be more of a lingerie party, a pantry stocking party (were guests bring food and cooking staples to stock the kitchen), or an anything goes party. Typically, the difference between shower gifts and wedding gifts are that the wedding gifts are things from the bridal registry and nice items to accent the couples new home, where shower gifts are a bit more practical. Sorry for the long answer, I hope it helps.
I’m not sure how long its been going on, but it used to be a way of supporting the bride to be in case one side doesn’t agree with the marriage. So if the bride’s family wasn’t crazy about the marriage, the friends would throw the shower to make sure she would get all the stuff she needs for the house.
The shower can really be catered to the bride. Mine was a couple weekends ago, and my bridesmaids planned it at a house and had a wine theme. We had a chocolate fountain, and had a variety of wines in little stations set with a food pairing. The guests received heart shaped wine stoppers as a favor. It was perfect! Sometimes its done at a church basement, a winery, a spa, a restaurant, etc.. There are usually horribly cheesy games, like make a wedding dress out of toilet paper, or “who knows the bride better”. We didn’t have that, thank god. Traditionally, its an afternoon for the women to get together, but now adays more couples are having “couple showers” with the men there, too. While I did get some tools because I’m in to flipping houses, showers are usually more of the kitchen stuff, with wedding presents being more dining, china, sheets, towels, etc.
A wedding shower is more “dignified” than a bachelorette party. Invited guests bring gifts that the couple need to start their life together. Here in the US, couples often go to a store and make a list of things they like…their china patterns, silverware, glasses, household items, and register their preferences withthe store’s Bridal Registry.
Guests usually are told on the bridal shower invitation in which store or stores the coupld has registered Then guests can access a list of all the stuff the couple has registered for and chose something from their list.
This helps a lot because most people have no idea what the couple really wants. The store keeps track of how many of each thing is bought, so nobody ends up bringing the same gift if they use the registry.
At bridal showers, usually there is a lunch served with drinks (alcoholic or not), a decorated cake, and games are played where the guests can win prizes bought by the hostess of the shower.
Some showers are for ladies only, some are for couples too. The gifts at a bachelorette party tend to be more rowdy and racy… like sexy underwear and nighties.
Hope this helps!